When My Spirit Was Empty

 

                  We  have our trials in life and trying to keep our eyes on God can challenge us. The freedom to open is easier. There is a need to share this story, because there may be someone who has gone through a similar experience.

                   Receiving the diagnosis of Parkinson‘ Disease  was unreal. The Neurologist told the diagnosis. Feeling as though it was a death sentence, the tears came. Hearing the results of all the tests, was devastating.

                  Life seemed perfect as a staff nurse at a rural hospital. Nursing was not working. It was a mission to help other people. What will happen now that the mission has ended? Life had taken a drastic turn.  

                   Knowing to turn to God for answers, this heart prayed earnestly every day, and cried to sleep at night. My faith had become weak, and I could not pray, believing that God could change the situation. 

                    The Bible was still on the desk, where I had left it weeks ago. Needed God’s word, but could not pick it up. There was a binding spirit in the room. I needed God to help me.

                      The Doctor had requested driving, and work be ended. This voice was weaker, and no longer able to sing in church. Climbing stairs was a challenge. Remembering to turn the stove off was also a challenge. The feeling of dying bit by bit was overwhelming.

                      One day listening to the radio a song came on that was familiar. However, this time the words seemed to speak to this wounded heart. “I miss my time with you. Those moments together, I need to be with you each day. How can you serve me when your spirit’s empty?” Hearing those words and feeling God calling this heart back from the valley, that song had the answer.

                         Working in Church had been rewarding, believing God could change situations. My faith became weak. God had reached out in a song. He had opened these eyes. Reaching for the Bible and opening it. The first scripture God spoke was Isaiah 41:10. He spoke: “Fear thou not; for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” KJV

                          My communication with him every day was the answer to survival. He said  not to be afraid, that He was there, and  He would give strength. God loved me.

                         This heart has found strength in God. Doing His will is a priority. I felt impressed to share my story. God has even strengthened this voice so singing in the 

Choir is once again a reality. God will reach us when no one else can. 

                          Just taking one day at a time now and live them for the Lord. Hoping my story will help someone going through a trial in their life. God will give peace where there is none.

                                                 The End