I prayed that I would learn how to love and forgive like Jesus did and does, and now most of my classmates are hating on me for something I did not do, accusing me of bullying someone in our class without even asking me if it was ever true.
The heavy stares and bad-mouthing that they never even try to hide whenever I walk past them are suffocating. What’s worse is that the people I’ve always cheered on were the same people who turned their backs on me, committing to making my school life unbearable because of a lie that reached their ears. It hurts that I considered them friends, yet they didn’t even base their judgment on how they knew me. They believed one hundred percent in someone with no evidence who didn’t know me.
And I won’t lie. It hurts so much that I have cried to the Lord many times. There are moments when I try so hard to stop myself from crying inside our room because I don’t want to be accused of being “pa-victim” (someone who acts as if they are the victim when, in fact, they’re not). There are days when I catch myself thinking of ways to take revenge or to explain myself to people who have already decided what they want to believe. I thought of ways to release the anger built up inside of me from the pain. But at the end of the day, I just cry to God, saying I’m tired. I’ve experienced this before in the very community we serve, and I am both exhausted and scared to go through everything once more.
But then God reminded me of the truth: He is in control, the God of restoration. He is my shield and my protector, my very present help in times of trouble. He has never left me, and He is right there on His throne, yet at the same time, with me in every season I walk through. He sees and hears. And in my weakness, He reminded me of the prayer I prayed months ago. It’s funny how my face was full of tears, yet my teeth were showing because I was smiling. He answered me.
I love that He is using what the enemy meant for evil to refine me and make me more like Jesus. There is a comforting feeling that, no matter what I face, He is with me. The process of refinement hurts, and the road He wants to take me on is full of uncertainty. But He is actively teaching me to put my trust in Him and rest in Him because He’s got me. I may not know what the future holds, but I surely know the One who holds it. And that is perfectly enough.
It is both an honor and a privilege to experience a fraction of what my Savior went through and continues to endure. Now I walk confidently inside our room, laugh genuinely and loudly with the few friends who believe in me, and smile lovingly at the people who spread rumors about me—not because I became numb, but because I know that God is using me to do something. Who knows? Maybe this will be the reason for cold hearts to turn to Him, for lost sheep to find their way back to their Shepherd who has always been there for them. I praise God because, even when I am flawed, He still uses me. I don’t know how He will work in this situation, but I will follow and obey Him. And in my obedience, I look forward to the day when prodigal sons and daughters find their way back home to our Father.
I will love them regardless, without expecting anything in return. I will forgive them regardless, even if the situation does not change immediately. I will be kind to them regardless, despite the fact that they don’t deserve any of this from me. Because, to be honest, they are undeserving. But so am I. I don’t deserve the love, forgiveness, mercy, kindness, and grace that Jesus has given me. Yet He still does. He still shows it to me every day, regardless of what I have done and continue to do. So, I will extend the undeserved favor I have experienced from Him to them.
And just as He restored the relationship between my family and our community, and how He has done miracles in the lives of the people in it—including mine—I know He will do it again. He has done it before, and I’m excited to witness it again.
WRITTEN BY: Shimei Uel H. Tuazon, C-Prep alumna
TO GOD BE THE HIGHEST GLORY!!!
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Shimei Tuazon, Philippines
Hailing from the Pearl of the Orient Seas, Shimei Uel H. Tuazon, born on January 25, 2006, is a 20-year-old Psychology student who carries both purpose and passion in all that she pursues. Currently in her second year at a state university in the Philippines, she is dedicated to understanding the human mind and using that knowledge to make a meaningful difference.
Beyond academics, she is an aspiring writer who seeks to honor God by using her voice to share the love and hope she has found in Jesus. Her writing reflects not only creativity, but a deeper calling to inspire, uplift, and bring light into the lives of others.
Defined by resilience, Shimei stands out for her courage in the face of adversity. She has encountered closed doors, rejections, and setbacks, yet she continues to rise with unwavering faith and determination. For her, failure is never final. It is a stepping stone toward growth and success.